All in a Week's Work

As I look over my journal to get an overview of this past week, I see alot of lists.  The lists changed from day to day, sometimes because the work was accomplished and we could move on to next steps; other times spanners were thrown into the works, which necessitated a change in tack; sometimes things got carried over from day to day because we just couldn't finish.

On Day One, I sat down with Jennifer, the store designer, and got the lay of the land.  The goal was to open the store as soon as possible. A list was already in place in order to make this happen, but without someone on-site to manage the work, nothing was being accomplished.  There were willing workers but there was no leader.  Kind of like sheep without a shepherd.

So, there was this huge pile of garbage outside directly in front of the store.  What do we need to do to get it removed, was the first question.  Inside the store, there was 1000 square feet of ceramic tile that was dirty & paint-splattered and badly needed cleaned.  There were paint touch-ups on the walls, fixtures that needed to be painted, over 100 wooden coat hangers that had been painted but didn't look great.  And garbage was strewn everywhere.

It seemed easy enough to start painting.  But the brushes weren't great--more craft brushes than paint brushes--and while I discovered that there was one roller, there was no paint tray for it.  How does one paint with a roller without a tray to roll it in?  Well, apparently, there are two methods:

• 
  
  dip the roller in the paint and then brush the excess off; roll on the wall but with lots of drips & paint running down your wrist
• 
  
  dip the brush in the paint and apply to the roller; roll off on the lid of the paint pail but pick up flecks of dried paint in the process which then have to be removed from the wall

Another problem with painting.  We had one roller but were using two colours.  This meant that only one person could paint at a time, leaving two more standing around waiting.  Not very efficient.

Let me interject at this point and be very clear.  I found all of this rather humourous, so this is not a rant or a complaint, merely an overview of the things I experienced this week.  I was blessed with some great help in the form of a young Khmer man named Rath (pronounced Rat), who was more than willing to do anything I asked and would ask if there was anything he could help with when finished his task.  His English isn't great but we've had some great chats.  Today, he told me he was singing two songs in church on Sunday.  When I asked him which songs, he simply replied, "Christian songs".  That made me chuckle!

I began to think we were actually making some headway on Wednesday when we started cleaning the floors off, but the smell was absolutely acrid.  I immediately recognized it as the acid that Dave used to use to unclog drains!  So, there was Rath and his brother, with their shirts tied around their faces and no shoes on their feet dripping this stuff on the floor, then walking through it, hunkering down and scrubbing!  The bottoms of their feet must be like leather because this chemical burns!  But at the end of the day the floor had been thoroughly cleaned.  It just needed a good washing to remove the residue.

However, progress was not to continue.  The tile at the back of the store, near the spa area, consisted of two different patterns and Ruth, the director of Daughters, wasn't happy with it.  Enter new tile, a pile of sand and cement mix.  Needless to say, a large mess ensued, bringing any further floor cleaning to a halt.  So, I returned to painting fixtures.  By this time, I had located a paint store and purchased a couple of paint trays, along with two decent brushes and two small rollers.  This certainly improved the painting efforts.  Rath was very impressed with the small rollers & the roller tray!

Huntley Street has a film crew here at the moment filming a documentary on the work that Ratanak is involved in.  Brian had the idea that "maybe" they could do a little segment on the Daughters store.  This was fantastic motivation for getting the front of the store cleaned up!  Garbage removal is not routine here in Phnom Penh and you generally have to arrange for it yourself--no curbside pick-up!  But removed it was and the outside began to improve.  Too bad we won't be part of the documentary!  They didn't have time to do it.

Next step in outside improvements was to clean the plate glass store front.  Rath and I set about this yesterday after I made my second independent shopping trip in Phnom Penh.  I went to Lucky Mart, a Western-style grocery store, and purchased Windex, shop towels, floor cleanser, and some chamois-like cleaning cloths.  It's very cool to get into a tuk-tuk (the motorbike taxis) and give them an itinerary, then getting driven around the city--a great way to sight-see, but not for the faint-of-heart!  It took us about an hour to clean both sides of the window but it was very gratifying when one of the neighbouring business owners (a wood carver) gave me a big smile and a thumbs-up when he saw us working!  It is so clean that today, when I was going to dump a bucket of water at the curb, I banged right into it!  Fortunately, it didn't break!!  And I'm okay, too!

So, by the end of today, we are in pretty good shape.  The new tile is not only installed but completely cleaned; the front of the store has had all of it's painting done, including fixtures.  All of the fixtures are in the shop area, albeit pushed to one side because only half of the floor has been washed--no point in washing all of it until the new tiling had been finished.  The spa area is cleaned.  For next week, some painting & floor cleaning are all that's left.

Every night I have come back to the hotel grimy, sweaty and bone tired.  But I've also been completely contented.  Remember back to my post about my requirements, one of which was to be doing something I was completely incapable of performing?  Well, on the surface it may look like this is something exactly up my alley and in terms of the actual work, it is.  But there is something deeper going on here.  Ruth, the director of Daughters, has begun to put her trust in us because we have been able to accomplish what she was afraid might not get done.  Organizations such as Ratanak and Daughters are very dependent on volunteers to achieve their objectives, but not all volunteers prove to be as reliable as might be hoped.  Gaining Ruth's trust isn't something I could have gained on my own at all.  God placed both me and Bonny in a position where we now have some credibility, which means she will be more open to anything else that we might be able to offer.

It's amazing what God can accomplish when we are willing to do the task He sets before us, even if it is just washing floors!

Forgiveness

definition:  the act of excusing a fault or an offense; pardon; renouncing anger or resentment against.

I am finding it very hard to blog/journal every day.  The days start early and end late.  It is the hottest place I have ever been, so by the end of day, energy is at a premium. 

We spent the weekend at Siem Reap, where we visited Angkhor Thom & Angkhor Wat, the ruins of the 11th century Khmer kingdom that Cambodia is famous for.  This Wonder of the World is an incredible site to behold!  Another wonder that we saw was the Floating Village, a community of fishermen who literally live on the water of Tonle Sap.  I have several thoughts around these things, but more later.

As I had mentioned before, there is no one here who is unaffected by the Khmer Rouge genocide.  Everyone lost family; some are the only survivors in their families.  The national psyche carries deep wounds, often unexpressed.  Today, Bonny & I visited Tuol Sleng, the high-school-turned-prison where over 20,000 people were tortured and then transported to the killing fields for certain death; only 7 people survived Tuol Sleng and they escaped, not from the prision but from the killing fields.  The Killing Fields were emotionally soft compared to the graphic presentation of Tuol Sleng.

No one was safe during the Khmer Rouge's reign of decimation.  Meticulous in their documentation, they revealed that they trusted no one, not even their own.  In the gallery of victims, there are hundreds of pictures of youthful faces, all wearing a cap, indicating that they were "combatants", or Khmer soldiers.  One picture depicts the wife of a high ranking officer, holding their baby.  She & her child were tortured and murdered because he was no longer trusted.  They didn't target individuals; they targetted entire families.  To paraphrase a Khmer Rouge saying, you couldn't just cut the grass, you had to dig out the roots.

The hardest thing was not knowing who the enemy was.  It could be your neighbour; it could be your brother.  And today, they must live side-by-side, not knowing.  Think of the implications this has on rebuilding this nation.  One of the exhibits are the statements of those who served in the Khmer Rouge.  For many their motivation in joining was to be one what they thought would be the winning side.  Others were very young and were removed from family & "reeducated".  Some are remorseful; others are unrepentant.  Still more declare their innocence, in that they didn't kill anyone or participate in any torture. 

On our first day, our cab driver told us he was one of three brothers.  He lost only one brother.  The rest of his family survived but they experienced hard labour and starvation.  Our cab driver in Siem Reap, Samreath, said very little, but he was missing three fingers on his right hand.

This lady was our tour guide at Tuol Sleng.  She was eight years old in 1975 when Phnom Penh was evacuated.  Her family consisted of her parents, two brothers and a sister.  They were sent to a work camp near the Vietnamese border, where her father and brothers were killed.  She escaped to Viet Nam in 1978 with her mother & sister by walking at night through the jungle.  They returned in 1979 when the Vietnamese army invaded and overthrew Pol Pot.  She has been coming to Tuol Sleng since it opened and yet it is a highly charged experience for her, even today, to be part of the commemoration of the genocide.  Her mother cannot come because it brings back too much.  I asked why she gives these tours and her comment was "it is time to forgive"; I asked how she felt about Duch, the former commandant of this prison who has accepted responsibility for the crimes he directly perpetrated (the torture & execution of over 12,000 people) and is currently awaiting the verdict of the war crimes court.  At this, she was visibly agitated, saying he was only saying what the court wanted to hear in an effort to not be punished for his crimes.  Interestingly, of the four leaders on trial, Duch is the only one who has "stepped up" and this is because he has become a Christian.  In a country where forgiveness is not the norm, it has sparked debate about what forgiveness means to Christians.  This woman moved me deeply.  Her pain is still so real, in spite of the acknowledgement of the need for forgiveness.  Before I left, I gave her a hug.  I couldn't think of what else to do.

This is Reaksa Himm and his sister.  They are the sole survivors of a family of thirteen from the Siem Reap area.  When Reaksa was thirteen, he was hit in the back of the head with a hoe and left for dead in a mass grave under the bodies of his mother & several of his siblings.  His entire story can be read in "Tears of My Soul", which I recommend.  Eventually, Reaksa came to Canada where he became a Christian and obtained a PhD in psychology.  He never intended to return to Cambodia but eventually did.  He tracked down those he knew who had been directly involved in the murder of his family and forgave them.  He has now established himself in the village where he lived as a child (his father's house is in the background of this picture).  He has a desire for the Khmer people to come to the Lord and has established several churches; he is also in the process of building a community centre, which I had the opportunity to visit.  He is a Ratanak partner, and with the assistance of Brian McConaghy, has received tentative permission to spend extensive time with Duch, the man mentioned in the previous paragraph.  The plan is for a book to be written contrasting their experiences under Pol Pot, and then bringing it together as brothers in Christ.  This is something so difficult to comprehend but it smacks not of the talk of forgiveness, but the actuality of a forgiveness that can only be divine.

So, what is all of this talk of forgiveness?  Each day that I have been here, I have prayed that the Lord would open my eyes, this morning included.  I didn't expect it to come in the form it came in, nor that it would be directed at my own heart.  I was confronted with the fact that there is much I need to forgive before I can be effectively used.  And this was before I went to Tuol Sleng.  I have been walking around on the verge of tears all day.  I think I have not been honest with myself about a few things that I "thought" I had let go of.  But when I am honest, it would be fair to say that I am guilty of the same offences that I have been hanging on to.  In light of the experiences here, most of my hurt is rooted in pettiness and unrealistic expectations.  I am not trying to inflate my pain, because it has been real.  But now, I need to step out and let go of the thing that weighs me down.

Ultimately, I need to do some of my own forgiving.

Fragments

Definition:  small parts broken off or detached

Today was a full day, lived in fragments.  A trip to the airport to pick up missing luggage, visiting the Killing Fields, getting a glimpse of the Daughters' Cafe & catching the vision, eating at the Foreign Correspondents' Club, shopping at the Russian market.  All these parts , seemingly unrelated, made up our day.  I only have time to post about one, the Killing Fields, and I will let pictures be my words (or most of them).

One cannot come to Cambodia, nor have any understanding of the Cambodia of today without visiting the Killing Fields.  No Cambodian is unaffected by this.  Our driver was thirteen when he was separated from his mother and three brothers and sent to a work farm.  He was beaten and starved but managed to survive, as did his mother and two of his brothers.  Throughout the country there are many "Killing Fields", or mass graves, where people were brutally killed, usually by being hit in the back of the head with a hoe or a hammer; others survived the blow and were left to die among the already-dead; children were battered against trees in full view of their mothers.  Tragedy is not a large enough word to describe what happened.  Sin seems to be more adequate.

The Choeung Ek Genocide Centre is just outside Phnom Penh and had previously been a pottery before it became a killing field.  People were transported from Tuol Sleng prison in the city to this location and subsequently brutally murdered.  Today it is a site where you see the skulls of victims housed in a memorial pagoda, but the bones & clothing of those who died still come up in fragments from the shallow graves.

Eighty-six out of 129 mass graves were unearthed and 8985 bodies were found.

Bone fragments

The indulations in the ground are locations of mass graves.

A piece of clothing coming up through the ground.

It is late (again) and I am having trouble formulating my thoughts.  Today's sights gave me much to ponder.

Tomorrow, we are off to Siem Reap to see another Ratanak project.  Pray for safety, pray for health, pray for grace.

The Longest Day

Well, for the next couple of weeks, I may have to depart from the one-word titles & accompanying definitions format.  I will just have to resort to "reporting".

The alarm rang at 0445h on Tuesday, March 2 and I slowly got out of bed, got ready and threw those last minute items into my suitcase before getting into the limousine and heading off to Pearson after picking up Bonny, my travel companion/fellow worker.  We really only experienced one minor glitch, which was getting some of the suitcases retagged after they were checked in, so they would be moved from the Air Canada flight to the Dragon Air flight in Hong Kong.

Nearly sixteen hours & 13 time zones later, we landed in Hong Kong and literally raced to catch our next flight with the help of Nick, a Dragon Air employee who greeted us when we disembarked from the Air Canada flight.  He rushed us to the front of check-in counters, took us down Employee-only aisles in security and ran to gate 69 to make sure they didn't leave without us.  The only hiccup here is that our bags didn't get on the plane to Phnom Penh, but I had been warned that that would happen so had tucked away a few necessities into my hand luggage.

We arrived in Phnom Penh at 1700h local time (0500h EST), exactly 24 hours after climbing out of bed.  Visas were obtained, customs was cleared and we exited the building to be greeted by Beth, who arrived on Monday.  It is so good to be greeted by a familiar face in an unfamiliar place, especially when you don't expect it!  We then got in the hotel van and surrendered ourselves to Phnom Penh traffic.

Impressions at that point included...

• 
  
  lots of tourists from lots of countries--Germany, Australia, China, Singapore, Japan, Canada
• 
  
  hot, hazy, humid...it was 35C when we arrived
• 
  
  mama breast-feeding on a motorbike behind dad
• 
  
  three people on a motorbike
• 
  
  motorbike driver talking on a cell phone
• 
  
  motorbike drivers & passengers without helmets
• 
  
  traffic is an intricate ballet and the painted lines are relatively meaningless
• 
  
  lots of old buildings, many in decay
• 
  
  lots of new construction, mostly funded by foreigners
• 
  
  everybody sells something

We are in a hotel frequented by Westerners.  Not the Holiday Inn, but for $30USD/night, you get a clean room, laundry every day & breakfast.  Once we were settled, we walked down the street to find somewhere to eat.  Lots of restaurants (the smells were divine!), lots of tuk-tuks (motorbike taxis), lots of people.  At the restaurant we ate in, we had probably the best curry I'ved ever tasted!  Children came to our table wanting to sell us bouquets of jasmine.  Beth made note of the scars across their chests and commented that while they aren't being trafficked sexually, they are still being trafficked; they see none of the proceeds from the sale of their flowers.  When we declined, they just moved to the next table, and then to the next restaurant.

A good conversation was had with Beth about the plans for the next two weeks.  The original idea was to do a business assessment at Daughters of Cambodia.  This is probably going to change.  They are opening up a cafe/gallery and are hard-pressed to get everything done on time for their targetted opening date.  They need someone to manage the completion of the storefront (me) and someone else to train the managers & staff (Bonny).  The key here is for us to be flexible.  It may change again.  The bottom line is that we are here to accomplish God's purposes, not our own.

Brian McConaghy came & joined us during dinner and filled us in on a few things going on.  I can't say too much here without first vetting it through Beth, but please pray.  These endeavours are under forceful satanic attack.

After dinner, we went on a tuk-tuk ride.  This city is alive with people and activity.  Children everywhere, dirty and needy.  One little boy came asking for my bottle of water, which I gave him.  Brian told us that these children have no access to clean drinking water, something we take for granted.  People walking up the streets with pushcarts containing the artifacts of their lives made me wonder if they have a place to go, or do they find a new place each night.  Barbeque "restaurants" on every corner, bursting with people sitting at tables on the sidewalks.  In other areas, there are groups of people hunkered down in tight, dark circles.  In contrast, there are many, many new vehicles.  We watched one that was double-parked just being pushed out of the way (we think that they park them in neutral), so that a car that was blocked in could get out--that was quite the manouevre!  If you look up, there are balconies everywhere, many crowded with people either busy with their own activities or observing the sights below.

There was much, much more but I am tired and need to sleep.  Check back....there'll be more!

Adventure

Definition:  An undertaking of a questionable nature, especially one involving intervention in another state's affairs

A week ago Sunday I had the immense priviledge of sharing about my upcoming trip to Cambodia during the service at my church.  I was asked by someone who wasn't there to post  what I had shared.  Here's the meat of it, with a few additional details...

The Challenge

So, you may ask, how did a forty-something widow with two children find herself going to Cambodia?

A little less than a year ago, while in Vancouver on business, I attended a medical students Bible Study with my brother, a lawyer. Also attending the evening was a doctor, about my age, who spends 9 months of the year in providing medical care in Africa.

My brother said to me, “You should go talk to ******.  You’ve been to Africa and I hear he’s looking for a wife.”

My immediate response was “I’m not looking for a husband and I can’t go to Africa because I have responsibilities.”

Jonathan shot back, “That sounds like an excuse. Have you ever considered that you have a responsibility to model Christian compassion for the concerns of the world to your children?”

I took that remark and pondered it. Then, I turned it into a prayer. I asked the Lord, that if He wanted me to go overseas in some capacity, to do the following:


Item #1: 

Provide somewhere for my children to go while I am gone

Jared attends high school in Vancouver and before he had even started there, the 2010 Winter Olympiad had been awarded to the city.  This resulted in a postponement of his winter break until April 2010.  God specializes in advanced planning and can even use VANOC as one of His instruments.  And what boy who loves things like snowboarding & hockey wouldn't love the adventure of an Olympic Games?

While attending a different school last year, my daughter had befriended an exchange student from Germany. She kept telling me that Sandra wanted her to come and visit but until I received an invitation from Sandra's mother, it wasn't something I was going to consider. Well, in September I got an email from her mother inviting Ashley to come and visit during the March Break. I had enough airmiles to book the ticket and Ashley wasn't too concerned at the prospect of changing planes in Munich and Heathrow.  That in itself could prove to be an adventure!

The prospect of some free time made me contemplate having an adventure of my own, something I haven't had for a very long time.  The first destination to be considered was London, England, one of my favourite cities, but I have been there many times.  Not much of an adventure.

I began to ponder where else I'd like to go and came up with Rome, a place I missed during my sprint through Italy a couple of decades ago.  So, given that Rome is my brother's favourite city, I consulted him on where to stay, where to eat, etc., and before you knew it, it was all coming together, including a travel partner.  But the partner had to pull out and I decided to go by myself anyways and, having yet more points, booked the flight, secured lodging and contacted the Vatican Department of Excavations to reserve my tour of the crypt suspected to be that of the Apostle Peter.

My adventure was just around the corner!  I hadn't really started to consider that God was beginning to work here.

Item #2:
Provide the opportunity without me looking for it
When my travel partner pulled out, it was because of a work commitment...she had to travel to Southeast Asia, and more specifically, to Cambodia. She had, at the time, said "why don't you come with me?" but I wasn't really so sure about that. Then, I heard Brian McConaghey, of Ratanak Foundation speak. In a word, I was moved. In a way I have never been moved before. But not moved so much to go.  I had a different kind of adventure in mind...I had bought the walking tour guide books, was learning a few handy Italian phrases...art & culture awaited!

 

When I booked my ticket to Rome, my friend was a bit quizzical. For me the big issue here was that I didn't really know what I would be doing if I went with her.  Maybe I wasn't as adventurous as I had thought.

She emailed me in the late fall. "I want you to come..."

It was like a thunderous echo from heaven "...not that adventure...this one..."

I started to wonder...

Item #3:
Provide something outside the scope of my abilities
"...and do a business analysis..."  was the next part of the sentence.  Now, my scope of experience is healthcare and software development.  I have done many needs analyses over the years in terms of clinical documentation; I have created voluminous project plans and complex design specifications.  But never have I done anything with retail business requirements.

And yet, nagging in the back of my mind was the comment made by Brian McConaghey that God doesn't always use what we bring to the table in terms of our skills, gifts & abilities but rather chooses to work through our weaknesses for the purpose of His greater glory.

Helplessness and terror began to set in.  But I couldn't ignore it--this was exactly what I had prayed for.  So,  I changed my ticket.  For a different kind of adventure, one that involves the unknown, but has been planned before the mists of time by He Who Knows All.

Now What?

I have gotten a new passport & started my vaccinations; initiated a police check; saved my money; discussed the trip with the leadership at church.  In three weeks, I will get on a plane and fly to Hong Kong, where I will connect to Phnom Penh.  I will then embark on what I can only imagine to be life-changing, and in ways I can't even begin to fathom.

While I am there, I will be working with another business woman from Cambridge to review processes at an NGO associated with Ratanak, Daughters of Cambodia, that provides employment and restorative services to young women who have been freed from the brothels, those dark pits of depravity that destroy the souls of both patrons and slaves.  I will be participating in Kingdom-building in both the national & spiritual senses...assisting (in a very small way) to restore Cambodian society and being the servant of the King of Kings as He goes about introducing Himself to those He has chosen to be citizens of Heaven.

So, pray for me in the following areas:

• spiritual protection & growth
  
• a lessening of self & increasing dependence on Him
  
• emotional well-being
  
• safety in travelling for both me & Ashley, as we go to our separate destinations
  

Rome is the Eternal City.  It will always be there and if I choose it over this, I will always wonder about the "road less travelled".  But more importantly, God will accomplish His purposes without me.  And that's not a place I want to be.

Let His adventure begin...

Way Marker

Definition:  symbol or signpost marking a route

I love history.  I especially love how, in the Old Testament, God has the Israelites set up way markers at sites where He exhibited His faithfulness and provision with the command to tell the story to their children whenever they saw the marker.  By following the markers, the story of God and His relationship with Israel unfolded.

At the end of last week when the new CFO at my son's school required a lump sum payment rather than the previous arrangement, a crisis ensued in my heart and I began to make plans to liquidate whatever assets I had--the TV, the treadmill, maybe even the house.  But something stopped the frantic whirring of my mind and I began to pray instead.

Last night I heard the answer to my prayer.  Someone unknown to me became aware of the need and wrote a cheque to cover the amount owing, with no obligation of repayment.  How humbling it is when God answers our prayers in such a way that the specifics of the request are not just met but exceeded.  Oh to be driven deeper into His grace so that I can be wholly trusting, like Abraham, in the promises of God.

So, in our family story, this is now a way marker.  I can point to this event, like the Israelites would point to those piles of stones, and recount the story of God's provision.  In our journey forward, God requires us to look back and remember that He truly is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.

Thanks be to God.

Metrics

Definition:  a set of measurements that quantify results, performance, or progress

My brain is conflicted.  The right side hates metrics.  The left side of my brain , however, understands the necessity and given that my occupation is that of project manager, this is a good thing.  Even as I type, I have three major project charters & plans, along with design specifications that are awaiting my attention.  For my right brain, this is akin to waiting for the guillotine to fall.  The work is already done in my brain--I don't want to waste time writing it all down!

There are many things and places where metrics, as we understand them in the business sense, just don't work.  A friend of mine was very distressed this past weekend to have been privy to a conversation where a church's spiritual state was being being measured by the metric of attendance.  The fact that they have a large attendance, published weekly in the bulletin, is apparently indicative of God's blessing.  And they were proud of this. 

Another metric...get younger people into leadership, or rather, remove older people from it.  Older people (and for the crowd that was having this conversation that means those older than 60--they're not exactly young themselves anymore) only hold things back.  They aren't culturally aware.  And the times, they are a'changin'...wait, didn't Bob Dylan pen that line over 40 years ago??  He's pretty much a senior citizen these days.  It's odd that people, especially young ones, are still listening to him.

There is no problem with younger people, who are spiritually qualified, being in leadership, and being respected.  But Scripture doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.  It promotes mentoring, old with young, respect, young for the old, and mutual submission.  The nature of man hasn't changed since the Fall...who better to understand sin than someone who has spent a lifetime wrestling it?  Who better to spiritually lead than the one who has spent a lifetime following & growing in Christ?  It doesn't mean that they have to be in a position of leadership, because a wise elder recognizes when it is time to move over in order to not discourage those younger than them, but they should have the ear of leadership without the desire to control.

So, while the stated metrics were attendance and youth, it leaves one to wonder if the the actual metrics are peoples' responses to these things.  When we are not humbled by God's blessings and when we shut out the crowd of witnesses that have gone before us, it leaves many questions about the heart.

And that is the metric that God looks at.